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tomber en morceaux

12/11/2007

I feel like I’m falling apart.

There are no simple answers, but I guess the larger issue is that there are no simple questions. That would be the rub of it, that in order to get close to the answers one must articulate the questions.

That is nearly impossible.

I don’t know if I’m simply imagining things or if there really is something there. It confuses me and I don’t know how to fix it or if I should just give up on hope and move on. Could I do that? And really, why should I?

It would be nice to come out on the happy end of a story of love, rather than as the friend on the sidelines who gets to smile at her friends as they find their hearts’ desires and goes home wishing that someday it will be her. That oversimplifies matters to the point of parody, but it’s how I feel. Even in the midst of relationship tumult and uncertainty, there is always another option for everyone else.

What about me?

I want to be loved. Instead of people coming to me and asking how they should handle their latest problem or how they should tell the girl that they love…that they love her…I want him to come to me and tell me that I’m the one he can’t live without.

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