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Talk to me, talk to me like lovers do…

07/09/2010

I’ve written a lot of posts on here about communication in my relationship, how important it is but also all the ways that it can go wrong (“Put a smile on your face…“). This weekend, though, we finally started to get a lot of things right. Thursday, I woke up beyond pissed off because Brian, once again, didn’t get home until after 3 am. I asked him to call me no matter what time it was, but he texted me. And, I found out on Facebook that he had his newly-finished Laser out on the road and took it up to 140 while racing his roommate (yes, the one I don’t like). So, we argued. Via text. Needless to say it wasn’t pretty.

Talking about it later, though, I was calmer and better able to explain what exactly bothered me — and what didn’t — and that opened the door for some heartfelt communication. That door stayed open all weekend, and I feel like we reached a turning point in our relationship.

The biggest communication issue we seem to have is that we assume certain things about each other. He assumed that I was upset about him hanging out with his friends (or at least his roommate – I wasn’t), while I assumed that he was going to be a jerk all day because he didn’t get much sleep (he wasn’t). By stopping and listening and letting things out, though, we were both able to get to the root of the situation and to realize that our assumptions were false and ultimately harmful.

Our new mantra is balance, in all things. We need to balance our time, our money, our resources, but most of all our perception of each other and our relationship. Moving day may be 206 days away, but there’s no reason not to get a sense of what we’re looking for in a shared space. In some ways we’re able to read each other without speaking, but that doesn’t mean that we should ever stop learning about each other. It’s okay to be angry and to show that anger, but there comes a point when you have to handle it or let it go.

Everybody can be happy, and we are.

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