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Learning to Cohabit

12/01/2011

Brian and I went to look at an apartment today. If all goes as well as we think it will, we’ll get the official word tomorrow and the moving process will go into full swing.

In the meantime, he has (un)officially moved into my apartment — most of his belongings are still over at his place, but his room looks like a war zone and since he’s over here 99% of the time anyway it only made sense for him to just…stay here. It’s also providing us with some much-needed experience in living with each other before we sign a lease and set up housekeeping; after all, we’ve both lived with roommates in the past, but I’ve never lived with a significant other and we (obviously) have never been together 24/7 for more than a week, or under “normal” circumstances. (The week we spent together was on vacation last year, so we weren’t following any sort of typical life routine.)

Cohabitation has mostly been smooth sailing so far, but there have been some minor issues and adjustments along the way. We each have our own morning routine, and meshing them effectively has been something of a struggle. I like having time with him in the morning, even if it’s as short as a kiss goodbye before he rushes out the door. Sharing the bathroom is also something with which neither of us has had to contend for some time, so what usually ends up happening is “Shannon showers — Brian gets ready — Shannon gets ready after Brian leaves”. Of course, I’ve started sleeping later because I’m more comfortable, so maybe I should just go back to getting up earlier.

It’s also a switch to consider plans for the evening in terms of who will be home, and whether or not Brian can get into the apartment after work. I usually make it home before he does, but lately he’s been cut loose early due to the weather and he ends up driving around or puttering at his apartment before I get there to let us both in. Obviously this won’t be an issue once we actually live in the same place… This isn’t so much an issue as it is an evolution in our relationship.

If I asked him, Brian would probably say that we also need to come up with a reasonable television schedule. We typically watch TV together; the problem is, I can only handle so many episodes of Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory and he absolutely can’t stand Glee, and other similar programming conflicts. We have DVR, but I know we each still end up sacrificing shows for the sanity of the other person. What can I say, we’re learning.

All that being said, I’m having the time of my life. I mentioned this to one of my friends at work, to which she responded, “I’ve been married for three years and I’m still getting used to it.” So I know that we’re definitely not alone, and at the end of the day all of the little tweaks are completely worth it because I don’t have to watch the clock and wonder when he’s leaving to go home — home is with each other. We can have a quiet evening, or a rowdy one, but the important thing is that we’re together. We’ll figure out the rest as we go.

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One comment

  1. You are absolutely right… it takes time getting that stuff figured out. And you will. I agree w/ your coworker who’s married and still getting used to it. Same here. But it sure is fun… aside from arguing over Glee vs. whatever-the-crap he’s watching… LOL ūüėČ



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