Phil McGraw is a Homophobic Schmuck


I haven’t really publicized my hatred for Dr. Phil, but there it is — I cannot stand him. I hate his voice, I hate his attitude, and most of all I hate the often off-base and sanctimonious opinions that he spews on his guests as salient advice to follow.

For your (in)digestion today: the blogsphere is ablaze after the mustachioed blunder tells a mother, Robby, that she should take the “girl” toys away from her young son. “Support him in what he’s doing…but not in the girl things” is the segment’s main point, and I can’t see anything but red through the hypocrisy.

I’m bothered by the fact that this boy’s mother even thinks that her son’s behavior “isn’t natural” and would try to find advice to solve a perceived problem. So, despite everything that is to follow I think that a larger part of the problem is that McGraw was giving her the advice that she wanted to hear. That being said, Dr. Phil isn’t exactly known for waffling in the face of guests with whom he disagrees, so it is completely reasonable to expect that if he didn’t think there was a problem with her five-year-old’s appreciation for girls’ toys he would have been in her face with the need to accept her son.

Back on track: unfortunately, a lot of people watch Dr. Phil and listen to what he has to say. When he goes on national television and tells a woman to “stave off the gay” (not a direct quote) in her son’s life by taking away the toys that make him happy, rather than telling her to embrace and appreciate the beautiful gift of a healthy and loving child, that is a dangerous message to send. When you are given the amazing responsibility of raising and nurturing a child, you have to realize that the little soul in your care has his or her own personality that needs to develop naturally in order for that child to grown into a stable and healthy adult.

Got that, parents? Your children are not clones, and your support of them shouldn’t be on the condition that they act in a way that you deem appropriate. Children who are raised in a household where they fear judgement for being who they are become adults who can never become fully comfortable with their identities. Is that what you really want?

As I’ve said before: playing with toys identified with the opposite gender does not make you gay. And being gay or bisexual or transgender does not make you any less normal, or any less deserving of love and support and acceptance. Fie on Dr. Phil and those like him, who would rather spread control and fear than a message of love.

Jessica over at The Frisky had an awesome take on this issue. Check it out here.

Other blogs covering the story:

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2011/02/03/epilogue/ (Note: Sarah, the blogger behind Nerdy Apple Bottom, is the mother whose little boy wanted to dress as Daphne for Halloween, and who is an example of exactly the kind of support all children need.)

I’m not linking to the story on the Dr. Phil Web site; he won’t get any more traffic from me. Just Google it.



  1. Thank you for linking to COLAGE: People with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer parent 🙂

  2. Girl Toys/Boy Toys …. I am not sure they even exist. Toys are what spark kids imaginations. I played with Barbie and G.I. Joe, with Legos and doll houses, with squirt guns and EZ bake ovens. There is no difference except perception by the parent (and annoyingly Dr. Phil). Making kids feel bad for what makes them happily play & enjoy their life is just Wrong. Thanks for saying so where everyone can see it.

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